How to open up artistically… the ultimate transition form caterpillar into butterfly.
Step one. Realise you are at a caterpillar stage.
Right now, you are not a butterfly. But you feel that inside you are a butterfly, waiting to open her wings. To the onlooker, I look like I am a woman, who tried and failed at some things. The appearance is one of what society would call a failure. I strive and I learn all through life In fact, I could have been stopped a long time ago but I keep going. Yet I have been told, indeed warned by the media to look after my mental health. However, in today’s world, people work weekends, shifts and holidays.
Step 2. Ignore the cockroaches, toads and moles.
I am referring here to what people think of you. If you didn’t care what people think of you, what would you do? Being rejected by society could spell disaster… who would help you? Who would look after you when you are ill? Who would care for your children while you cannot? Who would teach you the ways of survival as a woman in a man’s world? You must be woven into the quilt handed down from generations of women. You will not pull the thread; you will be assimilated. Of course, you can be sensitive to people’s feelings, that is sympathy and empathy. But it is quite another thing to believe what people think of you. And it is very dangerous to put faith in what other people think of you.
Step 3 Practice.
The most liberating thing is to be yourself. The only thing that will make you happy is not trying at all by being 100% yourself. No bells, no whistles, just me. So my challenge that I face is to do the work that I love and to be paid to do it. Yes, I believe that I can do this. That is not the actual challenge. The challenge is making new neuronal pathways.
Every time a thought comes into my mind saying “you cannot do that, because society would not like it” I accept that the thought is there and I accept that the old pattern has some momentum. I forgive myself and I write. I make some art. I visualise all my dreams coming true. And going down a new path takes energy, commitment, resilience, stamina, and the power never to give up. It is a fight. It is trailing a new path.